Life With the Warners: Part Two

Ok, this time I've decided to switch things up a bit. Since our siblings cannot seem to get throught a blog without it becoming a sibling rivelry-fest, I've decided that this time I would invite the parents as well. And here comes the next branch of the Warner...hey, wait a minute. Where are the kids, guys?

Nathan: Well, you see...

Oh, I get it. You guys saw how much the Cohen girls and your neices and nephew fought and opted to leave them out. I don't blame you.

Mackenzie: Actually, that's not the reason. See, there's some things about our kids' past that they don't know, and we haven't got around to telling them yet.

Nathan: So in the interest of just telling the story and not having this turn into a daytime talk show taping, we decided it would be best if we just narrate.

Ok, whatever. This should be interesting...alright, I'll be going now.

Bye, annonymous voice! Ok, well Nathan where do you want to start?

Did they see our wedding yet?

Yes, yes, they saw all that when they read about my parents' house.

Alright, so I guess it makes the most sense to start after our honeymoon.

Ahh, yes. Our new home.

It was a great find, wasn't it?

Well, I guess we all know where this is going to lead to...


Oh, Nathan, why did we need to bring this one?

Mackenzie, it's our firstborn child. We need to show the first moments of...

But I'm in my underwear, Nathan.

You don't remember much about this first pregnancy, do you?

Why?

Oh, my....

Yeah, apparently you decided to give birth in your cyborg costume...

I had that wierd skin condition...everyone seemed to be getting it.


Oh, well. Forget about my skin problems. Look at how cute Anthony was as a baby!


Look at how cute you are with him...


He grew up much too fast, didn't he...

Anthony: Hey, Mom! What's going on?

Anthony! What a surprise! What...what are you doing here?

Well I got this letter saying that our family was getting a blog post. Sorry I'm a little late.

No problem at all, son. Have a seat. We were just looking at your first birthday.


Wow, I was a freaky-looking little kid, wasn't I?

Oh, you grew out of those red teeth.


See? You were actually quite cute.


You were just growing up so fast. So we decided to have another child.

And that's when you got pregnant with the twins, right?

.....Right. The twins.
We knew you would make a great big brother. And then one day, while you were at school...




See, there's you meeting Brandon after you got home from school.

And that's the first picture right after the twins were born-you're mom's holding Christina.

Anyway...

Hey, wait a minute. You guys skipped a bunch of pictures.

No we didn't.

Yeah, you did. Look, there's a whole bunch stuck under the folder here...


Whoa! Um...Mom, what's going on in this picture?

Ok, son. We were waiting until a better time to have to tell you guys this story but...Brandon and Christina aren't really twins. You see, around the time your mother got pregnant, I was up for a promotion at work. But I needed to do a lot of work with my telescope to get it. With the new baby coming and everything, I decided I'd better hurry up and get promoted so I spent hours every day...

Looking through the telescope. Yeah, I remember that. But what does that have to do with...

Well, one day I was outside and this weird blue light came down...
Before I knew it, I was being sucked up into the sky.
I tried to hold on as hard as I could, but it didn't help.
Wait, are you saying you were abducted by aliens?

Well, yes. After a few hours, or at least I think it was a few hours, I was back on the sidewalk in front of the house. I didn't have any apparent damage, so I figured I was alright.

Wow, we learned about people being abducted at school but I never thought that my own father could be...


Well, I was.



So what happened next?

Well, your father grew bigger and bigger by the day.

We were worried about you noticing, but my story about overeating seemed to work.

The fact that you were eating enough for five people probably helped too, dear. Anyway, that day while you were at school, I only gave birth to Brandon...
Your father gave birth to Christina a few hours later.


What?

We know, it's strange. That's why we hid it from you guys.

So...Christina isn't actually your daughter, Mom?

Not biologically, no.


We pretended that Brandon and Christina were twins. We even told the city that on their birth cirtificates.

At first, we were worried that Christina's skin color would give us away. But those Marquez girls down the street were green, and so was our neighbor Elphaba and her kids, so luckily no one seemed to notice.


You know, I did always think it was strange that Christy was green. But I just figured that it was somewhere in Dad's family. We never really met any of them, you know.


Well, even though she wasn't technically my daughter I fell in love with her just as much as Brandon.

We just raised them as fraternal twins.




By the time we got to their first birthday, the lie had pretty much become the truth.

All of our friends and family believed they were twins. There were a lot of times when even we forgot.



I can't believe this...

I know, Anthony. But, hard as it is to believe, life did move on.

Soon Brandon and Christina were growing up into children...


And you were growing into a teenager.


Brandon and Christina were just like any other set of twins. Christina had kind of a hard time at school, because of her skin and all, but other than that we had a very normal family.



You even had a girlfriend, remember?

Remember? Mom, Kelsie's my wife now.

Well, soon enough you and Kelsie went off to college together and the twins grew into teenagers.


Hello, everyone. I'm back. So, how did it...Oh, Anthony! I see you arrived after all.

Yeah, I did.

And I can tell from your facial expressions that it's about time to end this. Hopefully next time we'll be able to get through a story with no years-old family secrets...hopefully.